Because We're That Stupid
by BeautyOutandIn
Summary: Katniss just wants revenge. She's been bullied and not taken seriously for too long in school. Now, she'll be the pretty, athletic, sexy, and popular one. Facing underage sex, that one teenage boy who sweeps her off her feet, and her best friend's insecurity...it can seem a bit complicated. She'll make very stupid mistakes. But her mind is left for one word. And that is revenge.
1. What The?

**Because We're That Stupid**

**Chapter One: What the…?**

When you're an outcast like me, only have one best friend, and you're so socially awkward that even a turtle can do better, hope you realize it's going to be a long ride through high school. And when you're in a school where it's more like _Where the Wild Things Are _than civilized, you'd be pretty surprised when you're on the floor of the damn high school, getting trampled over by animals you call your fellow students.

I'm Katniss Everdeen, and to me, high school has never been so stupid.

"Oh my goodness, Madge, that's some real messed up shit!" I yell, laughing as she finishes off her written love letter to Gale Hawthorne, co-captain of the football team.

Madge's in love with that shithole. All she does is write him letters on how much she wants him and do _things _I find rather disgusting with him. I mean, she's still a virgin. Who gives a shit?

She smirks as she quickly shoves the letter in the dim-wit's locker right when the bell rings and the rude, _bloody teenagers _pour into the hallways.

"That's enough letters from this secret admirer," she sighs, gripping her handbag harder, making her knuckles white.

"I don't understand why you even try, I mean, its bullshit really. All he does is laugh and share it with the football team. Plus, he's got a girlfriend. And you know how much we hate that bitch," I say.

"Ugh, Glimmer Miss Perfect should shove her asshole personality up someone's ass," she snaps, angrily as she stares ahead.

"Well, guys here don't go for a girl's personality, they go for how much junk in the trunk a chick has," I explain the obvious to her.

"No shit, Sherlock. I mean, why can't someone like Peeta Mellark steal my heart?" She says, shaking her head at her own stupidity.

I blush, furiously. She laughs hard. "Oh c'mon, Madge, stop it. You know I've been crushing on him since that day in kindergarten when I puked all over Glimmer Williams." That's why she hates me so much. I ruined her toddler _reputation _that day. And she never let it go. Girl has more problems than _Lindsey Lohan_. Who the hell has a _toddler reputation_? Only her, Jesus, only her.

"Okay, whatever. Let's just walk to history class before Mr. Regan has a heart attack, shouts at us and smacks our fingers with that damn ruler," she spits it out like poison. Then again, it may be poison.

We rapidly start for history. On the way, we're almost KILLED by these bitchy teenagers. I mean, what the fuck is this shit? How can our society expect us to do well in school while you're more focused on not getting compacted by these bulls you call students than your grades.

When we get to the door, it's closed. _Oh shit_, I think to myself. "Madge, I think we should just skip the class," I whisper to her, quickly.

"I'm with you, sister," she says, and we get ready to run for it until we hear it.

"Miss Everdeen and Miss Undersee, what are you doing here so late?" Mr. Regan yells from inside as he walk out, opening the door that we hate so much, more than _Mary Poppins the Musical_.

"Uh…uh…um…I-I," I stutter. Madge elbows me in the stomach to shut me up. I'm so socially awkward a turtle can do better.

"We're late. Detention?" Madge asks, making me feel as if Patty Quebec sat on my chest. She weighs more than the weights in our school gym. Mrs. Regan just nods and lets us in.

Immediately, my eyes go onto that boy that makes me shiver when he walks by me. I glance at him, not being able to take in all his glamour. The blond, shiny blond hair, those sparkly, ocean blue, big eyes, and those fucking muscular arms are way too much or me to handle. Who knew the outcast of Katniss Everdeen would fall for Peeta Mellark, the captain of the most successful high school wrestling team in god damn state.

And when he looks up at the tardy students, I can feel my head spin wild and my breathing become some kind of _Star Trek_ theme song with a heavy bass. I finally sit down at my desk, right behind him. Like why? Why, Jesus, why? All I can stare at is the back of his perfect head. I can almost touch the hair, _the _hair.

_Shit, Katniss. The fudge is wrong with you? You're such a FUDGE NUT!_

"Fudge Nut," I say to myself, barely under my breath.

"What?" A voice says. I look up, my eyes widening like a deer caught in headlights. I calm my breathing as he asks, "What did you say?"

"I-I'm so-sorry, wha-what you-you sa-say?" I say, looking into those precious blue eyes. I could just die right now. I think I see a light. I SEE THE LIGHT! _Oh my fucking goodness, Katniss. Shut the fuck up. The boy is talking to you._

He laughs, setting me to butterflies in my stomach. I must look like some wheezing creep to him right now. Flashing that charming smile at me, he asks, "Can I borrow a pencil? I forgot mine."

"Uh-uh sure," I say, handing him a pencil with my shaking hands. He smiles and takes the pencil away from my hand softly, and his hand bushes mine softly. I died. Heaven is already here to take me to the light, THE LIGHT! _This is why you never got a boyfriend, _I think to myself.

"Thanks," he says, winking at me. My heart stops.

I feel a paper hit my face and fall against the cold surface of my desk while Mr. Regan has his back to the class. He talks in that dull voice of his as he writes on the bored. I look in the direction the paper flew in. I see Madge right in front of me next to Peeta. Rolling my eyes at her, she beckons me to read the paper.

Opening it, I can already feel my cheeks get red.

_You looked like an idiot talking to him. _

I roll my eyes and throw the paper at her. Unfortunately, the paper doesn't hit Madge, it hits Glimmer. She turns around and her cold eyes go on me. As soon as she realizes it's _me, _her eyes widen like some retarded fish.

"Oh my gawd, Katniss! You are such an idiot!" She yells, getting the attention of the entire class. I can't find my voice because Peeta turns around to look between us like everyone else. "I am going to kill you!"

Mr. Regan turns around in a second. "No you will not be killing anyone, Miss Williams," he says, silencing the entire laughing class.

"Damn right she won't," it slips right out of my mouth. Every single head turns to me. And as if on cue, everyone starts to laugh. What the hell? It's like they're losing their… _shits_. Seriously, is it that funny? Do they even have a funny bone? Where the hell is your funny bone located?

"Miss Everdeen, I hope to see you in detention, _actually _on time," Mr. Regan snaps, as if killing the entire class with his deep, manly voice.

_Yeah, maybe he's such a manly man. He does manly stuff like take out the garbage and clean the dishes!_

I nod, gulping right behind it. This day could only get worse.

After history, I have P.E. That class is like a hellhole filled with sweaty kids, hot air, and a yelling teacher. It's even worse when you're sweating, too. Madge doesn't have P.E with me, but _he _does, and I hate it. Every time, the kids get a laugh out of me when I trip because I'm too busy paying attention to sweaty, shiny, and hot Peeta. And he's not the only one who has this class; it's all the Neanderthals, too. Gale, Cato Wilderfield (also co-captain of the football team), Glimmer, and Clove (captain of the girls volleyball team).

_They're all just a bunch of shit heads. _

Getting there, I can already feel myself tense up. Why do I have to attend? Maybe I can just skip the class.

No use, I can hear the students who have this class running through the hallways. When I feel as if I'm getting pushed right through the gymnasium's doors, I can already tell this is going to be a terrible class.

Screaming, laughing, and chatting students tumble through the door, pushing me through the doors and sending straight to the gym's floor like a banana. Couldn't this get any better? Some kids start straight up laughing at me. I lay there, feeling the pain on my back when a hand reaches down and strongly picks me up.

"You okay?" Asks the blond who helped me up. The heat suddenly gets immense. He's actually talking to me. He's so sweet, but the rest of the guys here are jerks.

I look at him, for a slight second until Coach Abernathy starts talking to us. I don't even have the chance to thank him. _Like you would have been able to say a simple thank you_.

_Shut up, _I tell myself.

"Alright, alright, kids let's start with some laps around the gym!" The class groans and everyone starts to run except for me. I stand there; ready to tell coach I won't be running because of what happened last time.

Once, when we were running around the gym, Cato and Gale decided to have a race. Well, let's just say those to bullshitted heads ran right over me, leaving me with some kind of scoliosis injury. Like those dumb asses literally dented my fucking spine.

Coach Abernathy eyes me. He shakes his head and walks towards me. "C'mon, Everdeen, you can do this. At least try."

He's always been a bit like my father. He knew my father very well, and now that my father has passed away, he's like one to me.

"At least make some friends," he encourages, the rough teacher voice leaving him and being replaced with a concerned and soft one.

I sigh. "No one wants to be friends with the outcast and creep who lost her father Katniss Everdeen," I explain, he shakes his head as I continue, "and besides, I have Madge."

"Katniss, that's because you don't try to make friends," he persists.

"No, it's because I'm fine with having Madge as my friend. I'm awkward, ugly, stupid, and just plain disgusting. I'm not good at anything and I'm a failure," I say, looking down at the floor, holding back my tears.

Coach smiles, "You're wrong. If you could only see why these kids are so intimidated by you. You're not ugly, you're not stupid, you just don't try, and you're not disgusting. And let me tell you something Katniss Emily Everdeen **(made it up :P)**," he starts, "you're amazing with a bow and arrow. You're father showed you how to hunt! Why can't you do that? Hunting takes a lot of energy and commitment, sweetheart, and you've got that. Just believe in yourself."

"Hunting brings back too many memories," I'm not denying the fact that I miss hunting because it's the truth. I can't go back into those woods that I've loved, not anymore. Hunting with my father is the happiest memory I have here in Georgia. I can't go back there. I just can't. Remembering my father is too hard for me.

"Well, the Katniss I know won't let memories get to her," Coach Abernathy says, walking off to the class who has stopped jogging and are standing breathlessly in a cluster.

"How come Puke Girl over here doesn't jog but the rest of us have to?" Glimmer asks, rudely.

I roll my eyes, already feeling the humiliation set in my stomach. I slowly make my way to the rest of the class as Coach Abernathy yells, "Miss Williams, maybe you can demonstrate for us how to use a bow and arrow," my eyes widen and my heart stops, "because we have a new sports team for archers."

Glimmer snickers, "What kind of loser does archery?" Some of the class snickers and I can feel myself want to scream at her because she's not just talking about me, she's talking about what my father use to be.

My eyes go on her and for a moment, I might just launch myself at her meddlesome ass. I'll pull her pants down like she did to me in 8th grade. Such a bitch that day. Coach sees the looks I give her and whistles. "Well, an archer might just shoot you right in that little pretty," he pauses as Glimmer blushes, "hollow," everyone laughs, "head of yours in seconds and kill you."

I laugh the hardest and that causes Glimmer to shoot me a look. "Like this bitch over here?" Glimmer stomps her foot and smirks.

"Glimmer, shut that mouth of yours and watch how a pro does it," Coach says.

"What? Puke Girl knows archery? I guess I was right, only LOSERS like archery," she retorts.

I'm so angry that my mouth has mind of its own. "Give me that bow."

Coach Abernathy smiles and hands me a bow from the floor. It's unkempt and just ugly as shit but I'll still use it. Coach stands up a few targets in red, blue, yellow around the circle. I breathe in and out, aiming at the middle of the target. I can feel the eyes of the entire class on me. Glimmer still has that stupid, mocking smile on her face as if she knows I can't do this.

I just can't give up now. I finally see what Coach meant. There's more than just to live like _this_. I'm tired of being treated like nothing, like a piece of shit…dog droppings. I'm not that. I don't _want _to be that. I want to be myself…and who I am now, it's not me.

And with that, I let the arrow soar through the air, making it land right in the middle…bull's eye…more like _bullshit_. I still got it in me. A triumphant grin creeps up my face.

"YEAH! You see, Glimmer, an archer has a much better chance of survival and skill than a hollow headed princess," Coach snaps.

Everyone bursts into laugher while Glimmer walks towards me, pushes me, and grabs the bow from me. She picks up an arrow and shoots it at a target, and it misses, badly. She might have killed a cat or a nearby cow because it flew out the window.

"Nice job, Glimmer," I yell, standing near the cluster of teenagers…_smelly and sweaty _teenagers…

Her head jolts in one second to shoot me a dirty look. Coach laughs his ass off the entire time, sounding like some screeching truck that doesn't want to start. I shyly glance at Peeta, who looks at me, laughing silently to himself and slightly nodding. The rest of the class laughs at Glimmer, who struggles to get the target.

After a few minutes, she stops and turns around, walking towards me with her fist in the air ready to hit me in the face.

"HEY! Williams, walk away now while you still have some dignity," Coach laughs, making Glimmer even more pissed off. At this point, I'm trying so hard not to laugh right in her face.

P.E is finally over. Coach said to meet him a while after school to discuss the archery team. I seriously thought that fudge nut wasn't serious.

I walk to my locker in the hallways when I feel myself get pushed into a locker, my head hitting the metal fucking HARD. I yelp in pain, standing back up and holding my head. I look at the person who could have done this. Obviously, it had to be Clove. That bitch always bullies me. And it's not better when I have to go home to an abusive parent.

I feel cold metal against my cheek. I glance at the object in horror. It's a knife. She smiles when she hears me slightly scream because of my fear building up.

"Listen to me, Puke Girl," she demands, "back off Glimmer's nerves or it won't go too well for you."

I nod, vigorously. Right now…I'm shitting my pants. Clove smirks and punches me in the stomach, sending me to the floor. The pain is extreme and unbelievably unbearable. She keeps hitting me until I can't even breathe.

I spit out blood. "Please…stop it," I beg as she laughs.

"No, you deserve it, bitch," she shouts at me, kicking me right on my ribcage. Frantically, I look around for anyone's help. No one cares. It feels as if something more than Clove's punches and kicks that hurt.

It's the realization that no one cares about me.

After what feels like hours, she leaves. Lying on the floor, in pain, I silently cry. The end of the day has come, and everyone who has seen me on the floor doesn't bother to help me. The hallways are empty of everyone.

Thinking back to everything that has happened to me, I find nothing but misery. Since my father died, life has been tough. Mother lost it and tried to kill me. I was sent to live with a woman who doesn't even care about me.

But I'm not completely miserable. Though I'm just a girl in high school that chews on her hair when she's bored in classes, can't speak up, and doesn't have the guts to do anything, I'm still going to school every day. I'm still getting up every morning knowing what my day could be like.

"KATNISS!" I hear Madge screaming as her footsteps grow louder as she gets closer. "Katniss, are you okay?"

"Do I look okay," I say, barely under my breath.

She shakes her head. "I'll go get some help."

I nod at her and she takes off again.

I have Madge, my best friend. Who needs more? I'm going to get through high school, and I'm sure I know exactly how. It's what I've been looking for, but I just didn't realize until now.

Revenge.

…

"Katniss, it's impossible," Madge says, shaking her head.

We're sitting in uncle Cinna's backyard, our hands on the table as we wait for him to come out. Maybe my plan is crazy, but who really cares. After the incident with Clove, I was sent to the nurse but escaped the office before they could call Sandra, my aunt who takes care of me…remember? The one who doesn't give a shit what I do? The selfish bitch? Yeah…that one.

"Madge, you don't have to go on with it," I tell her, making sure she's not doing this because she feels as if she needs to.

"Oh trust me, as insane as this is, I still want to do it. Plus, you're my best friend, remember? I'm always here for you," she smiles.

I smile back and thank God for a friend like Madge. At the moment, Cinna comes outside, holding lemonade in glassy cups. Handing me and Madge one, he says, "Well, girls, I was thinking about your plan…"

"What do you think?" I ask him, sipping on the lemonade.

"Wait, Cinna, just to make sure, this is Katniss' plan, I'm just going on with it because she's my best friend," Madge announces for the 2nd time.

Cinna smiles and claps his hands together. "I bet I can get my friend Portia to come and help me."

"The thing is, I just hate all that makeup, glamour, and…you know…shit like that," I say, looking at my feet through the glassy table.

"But Katniss, we're not here to make you look pretty. Just make you look presentable. You said it yourself, you want to be yourself, and you will," he smiles.

"I agree with him Katniss. I mean, my father is the President of some large company in California and he barely sees me, but when he does, he shakes his head and says that I don't dress like a 'lady'. I sometimes think he's a retarded asshole who only cares about money. But other than that, I think he makes a bit of sense. To be successful, you must act like one, look like one, and be like one," Madge says, her amazing speech getting to me like our drama teacher would burst into tears during the _Titanic_ and Madge would start laughing.

"And it's not about being pretty, but about giving you the appearance you want and who you are, not this girl, Katniss. You're both dressing in baggy pants and dirty t-shirts. I suggest you pick up your acts now. If you two want to be successful and fulfill all your dreams, I advise you both to try your best in academic areas. This isn't a joke. You must show your teachers you are prepared for a day of learning and only that way, will you both be successful. Those who work hard become quite successful, if I might say," Cinna explains.

I think about it. Before my father died, I didn't act like this. I was much better at making friends. I'd dress like a normal person and it wouldn't be like winning _World War II_ to speak. I'm Katniss Everdeen, and I'm not going to let a memory change me and keep me from moving on.

I nod. "Okay," I agree.

"Just remember Katniss, you're not alone," Cinna says.

I smile. "I know."

…

I walk into the gymnasium again. Coach Johnson is in the middle of a wrestling practice. My eyes immediately find Peeta, who's staring at me with those precious blue eyes…_shit_. Time for another installment of 'Awkward Katniss Everdeen'. He stands there, just looking at me and when his eyes meet mine, he smiles.

"Everdeen! What ya'll need?" Coach Johnson yells at me, making all the boys in the wrestling team look in my direction. Also, he took my eyes off the amazing sight of Peeta sweaty an hot…fuck.

"I'm looking for Coach Abernathy," I say, surprisingly smooth.

"In his office," he replies, and I nod.

Walking into Coach's office, I bump into someone. "Everdeen, stop being so clumsy."

There he is…that fuck face.

"Ugh, can we just get this over with!" I say, annoyed as fudge.

He laughs. "You like that Mellark boy, right?"

My eyes widen. How the fuck does he know that? "No," I lie.

"You're lying!" He says, laughing and walking around me to the door. He heads for the bow and arrow in the middle of nowhere. What is this? Survival 101? It's not every day you find a bow and arrow in the middle of a school gym.

"No I'm not," I lie, my voice cracking near the end. He shoots me a look. I can't deny it now since my voice cracked like a donkey. I sigh. "Fine, I do like him. And why do you ask anyway? It's weird talking to you about it anyway," I say.

"This is your chance to impress him," he winks at me, handing me the bow. I pick up an arrow off the pile of them on the floor.

"Fine, but I don't get why you decided to start some dumb archery team," I say, aiming.

"I want you to do what you love again, even if you're not ready to go back into the woods," he replies. I sigh and fire the arrow, landing it right in the middle. "See, Everdeen, you got skills. Now, I challenge you to hit all of those in ten seconds."

There are about twelve targets up. I shrug and smirk, "You're on."

The gym is silent as I get ready to fire my arrow. I block out the nervousness I'm feeling because I'm sure everyone is looking right at me…including _him_. I breathe in and let the arrow fly, and as soon as I see it hit the middle of one target, I move over to the next with an arrow ready to be fired already. It repeats itself like that all the way to the 12th target. I finish and the gym is silent.

"Umm…Sweetheart, that was only eight seconds," he says, smirking.

I look around the gym, all eyes are on me. I glance at Peeta, who smiles lightly. I blush furiously and Haymitch smiles. He walks towards me and asks, "So, do you want to be in an archery team?"

"No," I reply. He looks at me with wide eyes, so dumbfounded it's hilarious. I laugh and say, "I'm joking."

He laughs. "Okay, don't get smart, Everdeen," he starts for his office and yells, "See you tomorrow?"

I nod, "Okay, Coach!"

Overhearing Coach Johnson yell with his big mouth, "Okay, team, practice is over!"

All the boys run for the locker room. I start for the gymnasium doors when someone calls me. "Katniss, wait up!"

I turn around to see him. _Calm down, Katniss, you got this, calm down. _

"Hey, Katniss," _he knows my name_, "nice shooting. I didn't know you liked archery."

"No one did," I say. The sweats on his muscular arms make my insides turn, in a good way. I feel myself get wet between my legs.

He nods. "Well…um…do you want to catch movie sometime?" I think I see his cheeks run red a bit.

I almost choke on my words. "Ugh-um…uh…are you serious?"

"If you don't want to I completely understand," he says, still smiling.

"No! Um…yeah sure, I'd love to," I say, forcing myself to smile.

He smiles. "Okay. Friday night? At 8pm?"

In the inside, I'm fangirling like hell! YES, YES, YES! _Just say it Katniss, Yes! _"Yeah, that'd be cool," I say it so smoothly I think it even surprises him.

"Cool, well then, see you tomorrow," he says, heading for the boys' locker room.

What the hell just happened?


	2. Start All Over

**Chapter Two: Start All Over**

"I've been thinking about how Peeta asked me on that date. And I've come to the conclusion that he's losing his fucking mind," I tell Madge as she laughs her ass off.

"Wait, so Peeta Mellark, captain of the wrestling team, asked you out on a date?" She asks, still laughing like a complete fool as we walk down the hallways filled with stupid, yelling, and crazy teenagers.

"Yeah, and it's pretty hard to believe. I mean, I can't help but feel a bit suspicious," I say, my shoulders slumping. "I hardly believe he'd ask_ me _out. I mean, really? Someone like _me_?"

Madge, still laughing her fucking head away, says, "I'm stuck to that conclusion also."

"Are you on crack?" I ask her, examining her eyes for any sign that she might be high on something.

"What comes after 69?" She asks, completely ignoring my question. But I think what she asked assures me she is high.

"What?" I sigh, walking to my locker and throwing my books in.

"MOUTHWASH!" She yells right in my face, then turning to her locker, sloppily throwing her books in.

"You're disgusting, Madge," I roll my eyes at her and start for the school's main entrance doors. I don't need her to blab on about sex moves. And I definitely don't need her pouring her heart out about her burning, passionate love for Gale Hawthorne.

Today was better than any day I've had so far. Peeta and I have been talking as much as possible. And surprisingly, I didn't stutter at all! I'm feeling so fucking happy. Just today, Clove and Glimmer had backed off because Peeta and I practically walked to every class together.

_Haha, fuck faces! _

"And, no, I'm not high, girly. I'm just excited because Cinna's going to make us pretty today!" She sounds a bit too sarcastic.

"Madge, like I've said before, you don't have to do this I don't"-

"No! I want to. I'm sick of dressing like this and being one of the ugly girls," she says, "plus, Gale might notice me for once."

"Why do you even care about that dumbass? Are you doing this to _change _for him? Don't do that," I tell her, making her roll her eyes in denial. "Don't deny it."

"Well fifty percent is why I'm doing this and one hundred percent is because you're my best friend," she explains, lying right through her teeth.

"Madge, that's 150 percent," I retort.

"No duh, shit face," she laughs, punching me playfully in the arm. For a playful punch it sure did hurt.

Technically, Cinna's going to make us look _presentable _today. The thought of actually being a part of a makeover really tenses me up. Cinna said I'd be myself somehow. And all I can do now is trust him. In other words, I would be sucked right back into this fucking plan even if I refuse.

Cinna's jeep is waiting for us right near the front of the school. Madge grabs my arm and pulls me towards the jeep while yelling, "We're going to be pretty, we're going to be pretty, and we're going to be pretty!"

I stare at her. Seriously? Is she on fucking crack? She's acting crazier than that fat hamster I had that died because it was running too fast on its wheel. Yeah…fell straight down in its cage like a dead piece of furry meat. That fast bastard was almost killed by an ugly cat I had named Buttercup. It reminds me when I had five dolls and I glued them all to my bedroom wall and flashed a laser at them…that cat went crazy trying to beat the fudge out of plastic dolls.

"Hello, girls, ready?" Cinna asks as we jump into the jeep. He smiles and pulls his sunglasses down to his face, wearing them.

"Ready to start all over? Sure, I'm super ready," Madge replies, smiling.

Unlike her, I'm gravely nervous. I remember that day I was with my little brother, Rory, playing _Mortal Combat_. It wasn't a very good idea, though. Let's just say it ended with up with me on the floor covered in couch pillows and Rory lying on the coffee table. But those were the old days. I was surrounded by boys my entire life. Now, we barely speak. Rory is in middle school and barely has time to even acknowledge me.

It's a bit similar to this makeover. It's a big mistake. Rory and I didn't stop talking because I beat him in the game; it's because what happened with our parents. Mother's a lunatic and to this day I haven't seen her. Maybe I should just stick with being that girl I am. Peeta might even stop talking to me. Then again, I couldn't afford that.

_Curse his fucking good looks and his big heart. _

"This is a big risk, what if Peeta doesn't like me?" I whisper to Madge. She snickers and I glare at her because I can smell something stupid about to come out of her mouth.

"He asked you out and you're not even _prettified _yet. He'd be all over you when the prettifying is done!" She exclaims, getting into Cinna's jeep with me.

"It's a risk," I say.

"I know, but…YOLO, I guess," she says, making me laugh. "Great, now I'm going to be the crazy friend addicted to YOLO and _raisin bran_."

"_Raisin Bran_?" I laugh at her as Cinna shakes his head with a smile plastered on his face. The car starts.

"Yeah, remember that day in 2nd grade when I picked up that _Raisin Bran_ cereal box and literally dominated?" She asks.

"No," I say, flatly.

She shrugs. "Oh well," she retorts.

Getting to Cinna's house is more nerve-racking than I thought it would be. Yeah, his friend Portia? Well, she's cool. His friend Effie Trinket…she's not. She's loud as fuck, crazier than a bull, and laughs like a fudging donkey.

"Okay, girls, I want to ask you girls some questions, alright girls?" Effie says, annoying me because of her over use of the word 'girls' in one sentence.

"I'm pretty sure you used the word 'girls' a bit too much. That might be a big problem in today's society. President said it was illegal to overuse a specific word in one sentence," Madge replies while I snicker.

Effie completely ignores Madge's rudeness. Technically, it's my rudeness also, but I'd never be so open to admit it either. So let's just stop at that finale.

"So, in one word, describe yourselves. What music do you like? Oh, you know what? Maybe you might like rap music. I just love rap music," she gushes, causing a blank expression to form across our faces.

_How hilarious would it be if she started rapping right now? _

"Wow, I didn't think the makeover came with an interrogation," I retort.

Effie shrugs as Cinna and Portia come in. "Effie, leave the girls alone. They don't need to be questioned for this 'makeover'," Cinna sighs, relief filling me that Effie, the woman dressed in yellow skinny jeans and a complex light yellow top won't give us this interview of hers.

"I think we should get to know them before he style them. They said they wanted to be themselves. Well then, who are they?" She explains, defensively.

_Effie in defense mode! Lock and load, bitches!_

_Fuck you, Katniss Everdeen, _I think to myself.

"I'm his niece," I say, pointing to Cinna, "and I like chicken," I reply, flatly and rudely.

Madge laughs so hard that her buggers pour right out of her nose. I laugh along with her and the adults in the room shake their heads and look at us in disappointment.

"Hey, don't look at me. She's the one who said she likes chicken," Madge argues, then ads, "and just to put it out there, I also like chicken. But chicken _breasts_."

I start dying! Not literally dying, but the air is sucked right out of me because I'm laughing so hard. Effie huffs and rolls her eyes, handing Madge a wipe to wipe the buggers off her face. Cinna and Portia stand in the corner like retarded clowns, smiling and staring at us.

"So, Katniss, you don't want anything to do with things such as…well…_girly _things, if I may put it that way. Madge, you don't want it either," says Portia, we nod. We're going over fudging basics.

_Hey, fudge sounds pretty good right now, I'm starving. _

_You retarded piece of shit, _I think to myself. I have to strain myself so I don't laugh out loud. I'm such a clown. I think of the weirdest things possible.

"I got an idea. We will have to go shopping, though. But for now, I let you borrow some clothes from my latest collection. No makeup, no girly things, no nothing? This shall be easy," Portia says, indicating to Cinna near the last part.

"Yes, it shall," Cinna agrees. "Let's start with the hair. We'll wash it, style it in any way they want it, and we'll get to the rest later on," Cinna orders. Portia nods and Effie lays down on the living chair, her feet high up in front of her.

"We'll use the sink in my kitchen. It was two separate faucets," Cinna adds.

"TO THE KITCHEN," Madge screams, her hands on my shoulder like the limbo.

I put a finger in the air like they do in the cartoons. "TO THE KITCHEN," I echo. We laugh as we march all the way to the kitchen. We must look like fools right now.

They put chairs in front of the counters that have sinks installed into them. We lay our heads back and they turn of the faucet. Madge, stupidly, asks Portia if she could turn on the radio. She sounded like some idiot from _Barney. _

_You're insecure, don't know what for_

_You're turning heads when you walk through the door_

_Don't need make up, to cover up_

_Being the way that you are is enough_

Madge screams and starts singing along as Cinna and Portia clean our hair out of whatever I've done to my hair and whatever Madge has done to hers. _One Direction _being on the radio plus Madge equals an earthquake or some type of stampede of elephants.

I cover my ears because Madge's singing it way too loud. She notices and sings louder. Cinna and Portia are pretty quiet. I would advise them to cover their ears, but they're already using their hands.

_Every man for himself!_

Madge keeps laughing and singing. After a few seconds, I made the most important discovery in mankind history.

The only way to stop Madge's singing is to sing along with her.

I start singing with her. The song isn't that bad. Madge stops singing after seconds because she knows I will sing a song she finds very annoying. I smile and Portia, finally having enough, turns off the 60's-looking radio.

"Doesn't that song make you feel so beautiful? Because I feel so-so-so-so beautiful right now," she says, laughing.

Sometimes I believe that Madge is crack on a daily basis.

"I can't tell if you like them or not," I reply.

She gasps and turns her head to look at me despite the fact that Portia is working on her hair. "I LOVE them! They're awesome," she practically screams.

I can see the annoyed expression on Portia's face. I decide it's a good time to keep quiet. I mean, she is the one helping with the makeover. Let's just hope she doesn't do anything on purpose because of the nuisance Madge causes. But Portia isn't really going to do anything, is she?

_Like, wut chu gonna do, bitch? What ya gonna do, huh, bitch, huh? _

Sometimes my mind wonders off to brainless thoughts. You see that mumbo jumbo of shit I just came up with about Portia is straight up stupid. Sometimes I believe I inherited some of that stupidity from my mother. Mother was a crazy, lunatic, crazy…crazy person. After all, love really does some messed up crap to you. That's why I'm not going to end up like mother.

We're finally finished. Cinna and Portia bring us to the living room where two salon chairs are already set up. I look to my left towards the couch to see Effie knocked out on it.

_Hmm…maybe who knows? Effie might have been the one on crack all along. _

My hair is being pulled at many times. Whatever they're doing to it, I don't care as long as I don't end up with pink hair. Madge decided to let her hair down in its natural form. I didn't care what they did to mine, and as a result, I get my hair pulled for no apparent reason. After hours, Portia finally finishes clipping our toenails and our fingernails. She coats it with a bold, black nail polish on mine. A sea blue color is on Madge's nails. I wonder why they chose black as a color for me. But I rarely care, and by the way, it looks pretty cool. And I can't tell them I don't like it because I don't want to spend another hour on my ass on this chair ever again.

They don't apply any makeup that I know of. My toenails are the exact same color as my fingernails. Unlike mine, Madge's toenails are a hot pink. Madge never said she liked the color, but by the look on her face she sure is starting to.

"Okay," Cinna says, sighing. "We're finished. Now, Katniss, we've braided your hair to the side. I think you might like it," he gushes. I stare at myself in the mirror.

Now that my hair is at least taken care of, I'm already looking different. I'm not saying that I look pretty, but I just feel a bit different. And this feeling causes me to feel…happy. The braid is simple and doesn't make me look too girly, not that I care at all. I'm just glad they didn't put any makeup on me.

"I love it," I smile at them. They nod and smile. "I'm glad you guys didn't force me into using freaking makeup," I say, relieved. They slightly laugh.

"No, I'm just glad they didn't wax our legs or any of that shit! Woo, that was a big worry on me. Thanks guys," Madge smiles, making us laugh. Despite her usage of words and inappropriate language, Madge never fails to make us laugh…except when she's being a total dick.

"Madge, you girls didn't need the waxing. You two have the smooth legs of a baby! I don't understand how wearing sweat pants helps!" Portia exclaims, looking up at the ceiling lost in her own thoughts.

"Ooh, Cinna, did you hear Katniss got asked out on a date?" Madge asks Cinna.

_Yep, there's go Madge on total bitch mode. _

Cinna brightens. "No way! By who?" He asks, staring at Madge intensely and listening to her carefully fully interested in this topic. It almost makes me laugh because you could so tell he isn't interested at all. His voice is high pitched and just unconvincing. Madge knows it too, but she just likes to brag about _me _getting a date. I ask myself; shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't she be bragging about herself? Then again, Madge is a dumbass like that.

"Peeta Mellark, the captain of the wrestling team," Madge screeches. I roll my eyes and sit on the couch, examining my nails and toenails. Right now, they look pretty good as long as they keep me from blushing. I still can't believe Peeta asked me out. Something smells like ass around here. Why would he ask _me _out?

_Maybe __**you**__ smell like ass, you troll. _

_I'm going to die alone, _I tell myself.

Madge and Cinna lose interest in the topic after minutes. They take us upstairs where Portia and Cinna keep their latest "collection". I wonder what the fuck they'll be making me wear. _Peer pressure, Katniss, peer pressure. _

When Cinna opens a closet filled with the best clothing I've seen anywhere, I almost die. I'm not a girl who would flip over clothing, but these clothes are actually…_fucking normal. _The room is huge for starters and everything seems so opulent. There's a stand with jeans folded on top. Shirts hang on a bar running from end to end of the closet from hangers. There's every color shirt you'd need in here.

"Wow, this is amazing!" Madge and I say simultaneously.

Cinna and Portia both smile at the same time, slightly creepy. "Take whatever you girls like. We'll be waiting downstairs," Cinna says, walking out the door followed by Portia.

Madge and I look at each other, smiling mischievously. This is going to be interesting.

…

I'm wearing a _Captain America _shirt that is tight around my upper body, dark skinny jeans, and black _Converse. _The surprisingly fact was that Cinna and Portia's collection was called "Teen Life". I found it funny, but Madge didn't at all. She found it _hilarious._ My hair is still in that perfect braid I'm starting to love. Madge is wearing a yellow t-shirt and shorts. Her natural blond hair still looks perfect like it did back at Cinna's place yesterday. All I can think about is how Peeta would react.

And how this date is going to go because today is frigging Friday…

We walk into the dreadful building and almost immediately we're ambushed by students. Madge and I stay close up until we get to our lockers. Once we get to our lockers, I literally dump all my books inside of my locker except for my math book and a pen. Madge runs to her next class as I stay near my locker.

"So dude, today's your date with Katniss? You think you're gonna get some?" That voice belongs to Gale, and I'm pretty sure he's talking to Peeta. They're right next to me…_that mother…_but on the other side of my locker. They can't see me. I know it's wrong, but I need to hear this…_need _to.

"Dude, I'm not going for that. Katniss…she's different. She's interesting," he says, making me blush.

"You sound like a 30 year-old virgin," Gale replies. I want so bad to slam by locker repeatedly on his head. I think I actually might do that. The image is a bit funny to me. I think I actually might do that.

_You're sick, Katniss, _I tell myself.

"Shut up. You're a slut, Gale," Peeta retorts. In the inside, I feel like screaming nice comeback. My mistake was laughing. I stop breathing and grab the necessary items and shut my locker door, diving into the ambush of students like a retarded dolphin.

I get to math class on time. During class, I get lost in my thoughts. Peeta is repeatedly in my mind the entire class. He thinks I'm interesting. That means he's not looking for a date just for the sex. He actually wants to get to know me. I smile to myself. Why can't there be a day when Madge falls for someone like that? I don't even think of sexual intercourse. Madge and I are like ten year-olds in high school. That subject is the last thing on our minds.

A hard smack on my left cheek snaps me out of my daydream. It takes me a second to realize Clove hit me right in front of the teacher. My eyes widen as she grabs me by the collar of my shirt. I growl at her.

There is no fucking way she's winning this fight for whatever motivation she had for starting shit with me.

"Miss Anderson, put Miss Everdeen down!" Mrs. Carson yells, our stupid math teacher who just stands there.

"Fuck off, Mrs. Carson!" Clove yells back, still holding me up by my collar. She's going to get into trouble for that one. But I'm also going to get into trouble for doing what I'm doing next…

"Get the hell off me, Clove!" I yell, slamming her onto one of the desks. She screams in pain. Triumph rises in me faster than a bullet. This bitch is going down. I'm done with all the pressure she puts on me every time I enter this fucking building. I'm done with everything. The old, fiery Katniss Everdeen is back.

And bitches better back off.

Five more minutes of this fighting and I already have a bloody nose and Clove has a swollen eye and she's bleeding rapidly from her mouth. We go for it again but someone catches me from launching myself at Clove. I can feel the warmth from his body onto mine. His body being so close to mine makes me stop and I feel so strange. The feel of his hard, muscular stomach makes me a bit nervous and shaky.

_Stop it, _I remind myself.

A next door teacher is holding back Clove. "I'm going to kill her!" Clove yells at me, spiting blood right at my face.

I get so angry I elbow Peeta in the stomach as hard as I can but he just groans in pain, but he doesn't let go. I want to kill this bitch. "Why? I never did anything to you! What's your problem?"

The principal bursts into the room. Before Clove can answer, he has her being dragged out of the room. At the door, Clove yells, "He won't be yours! EVER!"

I shudder despite the warmth Peeta's giving back to me. Clove's talking about Peeta. Of course she is. Why else would she throw a freaking tantrum in the middle of class?

A few minutes go by and the class is dismissed early. Peeta, before he leaves, whispers, "You put up a good fight," into my ear. I blush and smile at the ground. My smile fades as Principal Jenkins beckons me to sit on the seat across from him in the middle of the classroom.

"Miss Everdeen, many people have come to me, complaining about the amount of bullying in the school. And one of my biggest cases is yours. How long as this bullying gone here in my school?" His voice demands the truth. It's as if I give him an answer or die.

Does he mean that students I make fun of everyday have told him what is going on? They care? I sigh. "It's been going on since I was a freshman," I reply, with the same forceful voice as his.

His expression darkens. "Who else was involved in this situation? And don't worry; we won't reveal who '_snitched'._" The way he said snitch is as if he meant it for me to understand it.

_I can speak adult, too, bitch. _

"Besides Clove, it was Glimmer Williams," I reply, getting annoyed.

He nods. "Alright. No charges will be pressed for the beating you gave Clove," I think he smirks when he says, "she deserved it."

What. The. Fuck.

Can this day get any better? I thought my fellow students didn't care about me. Maybe they were scared to help due to the fact that they might get bullied also. A heavy weight has been lifted off me. But the school year is just beginning. And I can't wait for tonight. But there's something so much better that makes me smile widely as I walk out the door with an ice pack on my face.

I walk to my locker and see Peeta walking towards the water bubbler with some guy, laughing and dancing something that looks like Irish step dance. Gale's talking to Coach Haymitch, who apparently is trying to get a kid out of a snack machine. Cato, who I never really bothered to acknowledge, is walking towards me and smiles. "Nice fight, Everdeen. Clove deserved that beating!" He puts his hand up in the air for a high five. I smile and smack my hand against his. I spot Madge trying to slide a note into Gale's locker. I laugh.

I'm back. I can start all over.

**Chapter Two: Start All Over**


	3. Too Much

**DAILY RANDOM FACT ABOUT ME THAT YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T CARE ABOUT: I'm obsessed with Cher Lloyd! I just love her music.**

**This isn't the date yet. Sorry, next chapter will be. I just need to move that ahead a few chapters so it doesn't seem rushed. Just a short, funny chapter for ya'll.**

**P.S: Please review my story and tell me what you think of my humor. Is it too much or is it like…plain stupid?**

**Chapter Three: Too Much**

I can't stand the sound of our drama teacher weeping because a few of the kids were acting out a scene that belonged to the _Titanic_. That woman needs a fucking date…_or a life. _All she does is make us act out scenes to the tragic movie. I could hear Madge dying of laughter. The woman is obsessed with fucking _Titanic_ and _Jack_. The old hag is softer than shit itself.

And the moment she says, "It's so beautiful," and wipes her tears with a handkerchief…

_Fuck my life…_

I just want to die right now. I look over to another of the few people I exchange a few words with. Her name is Rue. She has thick, brown hair and tanned skin with huge hazel brown eyes. She's quiet but fucking sneaky as shit. Once, I shitted bricks because she sneaked up behind me.

_Like my life could get __**any**__ better. _

Rue's sitting to my left, Madge to my right. Peeta has this class with me, and he's been fooling around with someone that looks like Marvel, best fucking womanizer in town, besides the jocks and morons. Not that I've ever even cared about his existence in the solitary and confusing surface of the planet we call earth, but still…Marvel is just too much of a dick to miss.

Peeta and Marvel are managing the lights near the end of the stage. A curtain covers them from the teacher, but the students at the far left of the seats can see them perfectly clear. They're sword fighting with plastic swords. I entertain myself by watching them. It seems as if the entire class is paying attention to them instead of Miss Owen's stupidity for _Titanic_. The plush, red theater seats are a nice place to sleep. Obviously, Madge's thinking the same thing because you can hear her snoring from Africa. When I hear her moaning Gale's name in an awfully sexually way, my eyes widen and I have to switch seats with Rue. I cover my face in disgust. Rue is dying of laughter.

"Looks like she's having fun," Rue says, flatly but with a bit of sarcasm right behind it.

"Ugh! I think I'm going to die of disgust if I don't run out of here," I snap. I've finally had enough and I punch Madge on the arm.

She snorts and shoots up yelling, "No, monkeys don't sing!" The entire class turns to look at her. Rue and I sink in our chairs, red from all the laughter we're suppressing. Miss Owen stops weeping and glares at Madge for interrupting the scene where Jack and Rose are about to die.

The class snickers and returns their attention to the play. I return my attention to Peeta and Marvel, sword fighting. You can easily tell one of them is about to get hurt. I wasn't wrong when Marvel gets a bloody nose due to Peeta swinging way to close to him.

Marvel, silently, holds his nose and jumps around, hopping like a bunny in pain. I laugh and so due a few other kids. Miss Owen screams at us. "How can you kids find this hilarious? This is a beautifully written story and not meant to be a comedy, but a passionate, romantic, and loving point of view from a young person such as yourselves! And what shame you all have for laughing! I just don't understand your generation."

Peeta holds Marvel's nose and we swaps him away. Peeta's trying not to laugh as a girl in front of me, Margaret, _I think, _raises her hand.

"Yes, Miss Mellark?" Miss Owen asks.

"Why don't you ask Peeta and Marvel how interesting the play is? They seem to really enjoy it. Plus, it might teach _us kids _a thing or two about the art of drama," she says, with fake admiration. That's Peeta's sister. I smile at her. She's one of the few girls who actually have the time to mouth a hello here in there from time to time.

_Ooo, Peeta, and Marvel are in deep poop. _

Miss Owen grins. "Of course. Let's hear what these gentlemen think. They _are _a perfect example of what today's society should be."

_Grandma actually believes that they're a good example?_

It reminds me of this hilarious video on _YouTube_. This old lady was dancing to _Baby Got Back. _It was hilarious. The woman was actually shaking her old ass when the lyrics came on. I wish my grandmamma could shake her ass like that to the song about big ass so I can video tape it and post it on a website where perverts hope to find porn on and make it go viral.

_I like big butts and I cannot lie_

_You other brothers can't deny_

_That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist_

_And a round thing in your face_

I laugh as Margaret turns around and high-fives me. He turns back around and we watch the show that Miss Owen's going to give us when she sees Marvel's bloody nose. Reaching over for the curtain, Miss Owen says, "Peeta and Marvel, what do you boys think?"

Marvel's turned around and Peeta's glaring at his sister for a few seconds. Peeta looks back at Miss Owen and smiles politely. "I think it's great. It really…um…shows creativity and what the art of feeling is," he guessed at the same time. That adorable triumphant grin spreads all over his expression. It falls when Miss Owen smiles and pats him on the shoulder and asks Marvel what he thinks.

_AWW SHIT! Shit's going down, shit's going down! _

Marvel doesn't face Miss Owen. "I'm trying to admire the beauty of the set. It's decorated with such beauty…so amazing and inspiring. I've never seen anything like it," the class laughs at him. Peeta's trying to keep the grin off his face.

"Marvel, dear, are you holding your nose?" Miss Owen treats them with such sweetness because Marvel's father is the Principal. And I still don't know how she's still working here after what Marvel told his father about her. He says she touches him in _strange _places. Great, now Miss Owen's going to be like that grandma in the video.

_You get sprung; wanna pull out your tough_

_'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed_

_Deep in the jeans she's wearing_

_I'm hooked and I can't stop staring_

_Oh baby, I wanna get with you_

_And take your picture_

_My homeboys tried to warn me_

_But that butt you got makes me so horny_

_Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin_

_You say you wanna get in my Benz?_

Marvel shakes his head. "May I use the restroom?"

Miss Owen nods sympathetically. "Sure, go ahead, dear."

Suddenly, the bell rings.

I fly out my seat not bothering to wait for anyone. I rush to my locker and throw my books inside. FRIDAAY!

Ugh, it reminds me of this song that no one even likes. But it gets stuck in my head easily. And fuck…it is now.

You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough  
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed  
Deep in the jeans she's wearing  
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring  
Oh baby, I wanna get with you  
And take your picture  
My homeboys tried to warn me  
But that butt you got makes me so horny  
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin  
You say you wanna get in my Benz?

I roll my eyes and head for the school's parking lot where Cinna is waiting for me in his jeep. He smiles and waves at me. I smile and wave back, running towards the jeep. Madge screams behind me. "WAIT UP, SHIT FACE!"

_She never gives up, does she, God?_

We hop inside Cinna's jeep and head to his house. It's time to get me ready for my date with Peeta.

_Can't wait_…


	4. The Best Night Part I

**Chapter Four: The Best Night Part I**

I'm not a fan of bloody, action movies. But don't get me started on romantic movies. Comedy, yeah, that's one thing because I actually _like _it. You'd think after watching _Barbie and the Mermaid Tale _that I would be less likely to watch it again. Well, you're wrong. It's like a mood ring, really. Although you don't want that shit turning black, you'd want it to be the mood you want it to be. So most likely you'd get the wrong mood, the one you're not feeling. That's stupid. In reality, I'm not sure how I'm feeling about going on this date with Peeta. Yes…I've been obsessed with the kid over the years. But don't get me wrong, I'm shitting bricks right now. I can't start conversations as easy as the ABC's.

Conserve my body when I die for the use of scientific research.

Everyday it's something new. If I'm mad, back the fuck off. If I'm depressed, which I rarely am, don't talk to me. And if I'm just really, extremely, unbelievably bored…then don't expect me to start a conversation saying, "Hello isn't it a lovely day," for one reason and one reason only.

I'm might bite the shit out of your fucking finger.

Robots and the future type of shitty movies just remind me of how a crazy hobo might be yelling, "IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD. SAVE YOURSELVES." And then, some guy in a business suit walking around with a coffee yells at him to get a life. But that's extremely rude because you know…it's not easy for a homeless little guy to get a life.

_Fuck that rich man in a business suit. Fuck all those rude bitches._

Anyways, before I get all ghetto and shit, I'm not really that nervous for some odd reason. Usually I'd be dying right now of a spasm attack and having eye twitching problems with imaginary braces likes _Ugly Betty._ Nevertheless, the exception Cinna's making for lending me the clothes in his collection really gives me some hope that I might actually be looking somewhere near sexy. But why the fuck does _me, _Katniss Emily Everdeen, care? The real reason, I think, why I'm not freaking out is because I feel confident knowing I don't look like that poor hobo screaming the end of the world and Peeta's not that jerk in the business suit yelling insults at me. Peeta Edward Mellark and I _would _know his middle name, isn't a jerk.

_I better stop using middle names before I call him Peeta Edward unwittingly. _

In five minutes, he'll be here, seeing what I'm wearing. Personally, I'd make myself wear a dress. But Cinna didn't even have a dress in his collection so I'm not going to even bother to ask for one because I know both Madge and him would go overboard. Tight, dark, skinny jeans cover my legs and are unbelievably suffocating my fucking thigh. If I were to sit down, maybe I'd rip my pants and start singing that _SpongeBob Ripped His Pants Song. _

_When big Larry came 'round just to put him down  
SpongeBob turned into a clown  
and no girl ever wants to dance  
with a fool who went and [rip] ripped his pants_

Now that's accurate. I used to watch SpongeBob many times when I was about twelve. Maybe that's how I inherited part of my stupidity and it wasn't _just _my mother. If my mom wasn't so drunk that she died in a car crash I would have been a bit more intelligent. Father was best, though. He wasn't stupid. And if he were still here, I know he'd mess around with me and make this date with Peeta an entire joke. That's why he was always better than mother. My aunt, Sandra, isn't a bitch. Well, I might have said she is, but she isn't really that bad compared to other bitches in this neighborhood.

The only thing I like about her is that she isn't a part of my life figuratively. She doesn't care what I do and she barely acknowledges me. Therefore, she'll leave me alone. And she actually cares about Rory. She talks to him, has time for him, and makes sure he's fed so I _don't _have to do it. But I still want my younger brother to be a part of my life.

My brother, Rory Everdeen, is fourteen and looks a little too much like me. He I want in my life. He's the only person besides Madge and Cinna, who I can talk to. Sure Rory isn't going to have conversations about my monthly gift like I do with Madge or girly shit, but we will talk about video games and _Facebook_. You know…stuff that is very popular nowadays.

Although these jeans are tight, they really do bring out my ass and make my legs look like a normal girl's legs…not a chicken's legs. My hair isn't in that braid anymore, which I would prefer but I don't know how to get it into a braid. I look into that huge and beautiful mirror in my room just above my fancy silver dresser. That's another thing that is good in my life. Sandra's rich. I appreciate everything she does, that's why she isn't fully a bitch. And I have no right to call her one because she works everyday to earn money for us and to provide for us.

My hair is down around my shoulders in dark curls. I guess I like it that way, too. Glancing at my shirt, I'm glad I didn't wear a regular bra. Yeah…Madge thought it'd be funny if I wore a push-up bra back at Cinna's place. She dared me to, and the only way for me to actually enjoy this is by accepting the challenge. My shirt is a one shoulder type in the color blue with a white undershirt that shows under the blue. My boobs are up so high they aren't hidden by the spacious shirt.

_Makeup_…I think I forgot that. I look at myself in the mirror to realize Cinna had put it on for me. The light blue eye shadow with the slightly applied eyeliner does some work to my grey, stormy eyes. I slight pink blush is added to my cheeks to bring color to my pale regular ones. All thanks to Cinna, I actually look pretty darn hot.

I'm supposed to meet Peeta at the movie theater at eight. Right now, it's about 7:40. I better get going. I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen for Sandra's car keys that she let me borrow. I was a bit nervous to ask, but she already knew I was going to ask her. She shut me up by saying, "Well…you did get your driving license for a reason. You're a senior in high school, I'd let you borrow my car as long as you are responsible."

Driving Sandra's car is like the bomb being dropped right next to me. I'm already a bit nervous; never mind driving Sandra's Acura! I grab the keys and realize Rory's looking at me with a raised eyebrow. Sandra glances at me and grins. "Looking good, Kat," she says. _When did she start talking to me?_

"Where are you going dressed like _that_?" Rory asks, taking out a bucket of ice cream from the freezer and rumbling through a drawer.

"I'm going"- I start.

"You know what; I'm not interested if you're going out with some athlete star at your school. Just make sure he's not a jerk, I need someone to buy me a new Xbox 360 because _somebody _broke mine," he says, accusing me of ruining his Xbox.

I stick my tongue out at him and he rolls his eyes, heading out to the living room with _Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream _and the flat screen TV remote in his other hand along with a spoon. I turn back to get the keys when Sandra asks, "So…what's his name?"

I look up at her. She has a grin on her face the size of Donkey Kong. I sigh. Since when does she even bother talking to me? I guess I'm the one being the bitch because she does many things for me. But then again…I never told her I was going out with a guy…she knows me that well?

"Peeta Mellark. He's the captain of the wrestling team," I say. I'm not sure if we're just going to the movies as friends. That may be it. Yeah…_friends. _It'd be like talking to a friend. That'd be easy…right?

"Ooo, Kat. Never knew you could do that well," she says, joking around. She gets up and gets a can of soda from the fridge and pats my back softly as she heads out to the living room with Rory. "Have a good time…but don't have too much _fun._"

I have a mini spasm inside of me. It's just…EWW. What the fuck? No! I never…I would never…holy fuck. I quickly run outside and get into Sandra's car. Immediately, bullshit gets on the radio. I HATE THIS FUCKING SONG!

_Making my way downtown  
Walking fast  
Faces pass  
And I'm home bound  
Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making a way  
Through the crowd  
And I need you  
And I miss you  
And now I wonder..._

I unwittingly start singing along. "'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I just could see you…tonight!" I start doing some retarded dance while I drive.

"IF I COULD FALL INTO THE SKY…DO YOU THINK TIME WOULD PASS ME BY!" I start singing loudly and dancing. I want to laugh at myself, but this song really is catchy…not that I like it…but you know…it's just really easy to get stuck in your head.

After the song is done, I mentally congratulate myself and clap for myself. I move my head from side to side in that stupid way they do in the movies. The song reminds me of the movie _White Chicks. _I laugh to myself. I turn left and head for the theater. While a song plays, I think of how everything is turning up right. But for some reason, it's not going to last long thanks to my negative impulse towards everything.

_I threw a wish in the well  
Don't ask me, I'll never tell  
I looked to you as it fell  
And now you're in my way_

Oh great, now this song. I guess it isn't so bad. Not as bad as…never mind. That song is too full of ass. And it's a bit ironic because the song is about ass. Literally. _Baby Got Back _is worst than _Call Me Maybe_. Thankfully, I'm already here at the theater.

I park the car and run to the theater seeing that it's freaking 8:02. Walking in to the small theater, I catch a glimpse of Peeta, wearing a dark shirt and jeans that fit him…oh my god…maybe a little _too _well. He's leaning against the wall, two tickets to some movie in his hands while he texts on his phone. I sigh.

_Here goes nothing…_

I walk towards him and he looks up. His eyes widen as he looks at me. I don't know if blushing would be the correct action to respond back to it, but I do neither of which ever other possibility there is. I just smile and he seems to stumble upon his words. My smile widens.

"Hey, Peeta…are you okay?" He looks like he's going to die. He keeps staring at me, but Madge was right, I was going to enjoy this if I wore a push-up bra. I mean, it doesn't even make my boobs look _that _big. And even so, Madge was thinking about sex clearly. I wasn't though, I think I like making Peeta blush.

He smiles and shakes his head slightly as if knocking sanity back into his head. "Yeah…you look…amazing," he says.

Okay, so maybe blushing was correct. And therefore, I did blush. "Thanks." I say, there's an awkward silence and I didn't think I'd be the one to break it. But I was just curious. "So what movie are we going to watch?"

"Oh…um…I didn't think you'd like to watch something sappy and romantic," I nod before he can continue. He shrugs. "So I guessed you might want to watch something funny…like _'Ted'."_

_This is amazing…_

"Yeah, awesome. And you're right…I hate romantic movies," I say. There aren't too many people here, but it is better that way I guess. I'm hoping for one of those HUGE popcorn bags. I used to buy those with my father, which was hilarious because when we'd get full, we'd start harassing the people in front of us by throwing popcorn at them.

"You want to get a snack before the movie starts? I was hoping they still have those huge bags of popcorn!" He says, enthusiastically and jokingly. He smiles at me and I laugh.

"I was just thinking the same thing! I used to get those all the time! When I'd get full, I'd throw some at the people sitting in front of me!" I exclaim, laughing. He smiles at me and I feel my stomach flutter.

_I can get used to this…_

We head towards the snacks and we buy two large bags of popcorn and a bag of _Skittles. _Starting a conversation with Peeta is surprisingly easy. "This thing is clearly bigger than my head."

He laughs, "Tell me about it. I can probably wrestle it, too."

I giggle…WOW, WOW, and AND WOW! WHAT THE HELL? NO, WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT IN THE WORLD…? I don't giggle…ever. This shit is mystical…no…fucking alerting as a grizzly bear. I'm stunned about it while Peeta says he can't wrestle it unless he might be concerned he might pop the bag and crush the popcorn.

_Hell no, Katniss. If you're going to get distracted by __**giggling**__, then…good luck. _

I LAUGH as we enter the small room where the movie is being shown. About ten people are here right now while the commercials ring in my ears, making me shiver because it's so fucking LOUD. Then…the movie finally starts to play. It's quite amusing at some points. No one sits in front of us, meaning w can't pound someone with pop corn. Just when I think we're alone, the unbelievable happens. A pack of teens enter the room and sit right in front of us. They seem fucking similar…that's right. That's because they ARE who I think they are.

Margaret greets her brother and laughs along with Madge, Gale, and Cato. Rue and Marvel throw themselves into seats and Rue punches Marvel in the stomach because he fell on top of her.

"Hello, bro," Margaret smiles, and Peeta flicks her off. I want to laugh but I'm too busy glaring and shooting daggers at Madge Undersee. Cato and Gale are singing a song that seems strangely familiar. They are clapping they're hands lightly and whispering it like idiots.

_OH MY GOD. My life…_

Peeta and I look at each other. I'm sure he's thinking the same thing.

WHAT. THE. HELL.


	5. Part II: Joy As Cheese

_**I didn't say this before, but this is a type of writing where Katniss sounds like she's writing in a diary. It's mostly like that show "Awkward" on MTV. Just to let you guys know because I think there's been some confusion. Last part of the date!**_

* * *

**Best Night Ever: Part II **

JOY LIKE CHEESE

I don't really know _what _I'm going to do to Madge for sitting her ass right next to me, but I know it's going to involve some kind of hair replacement because I'm going to rip her hair right off. Cato and Gale moved Peeta to them by pulling him off his seat and throwing him over one row. Like, what the fuck? Rue seems to be completely against this and I don't know who or what motivated her to come along unwittingly. I mean, maybe she does like watching me in misery.

_Looks like another person to add to my Soon-To-Kill List. _

Isn't this called disturbance of the peace or some shit? A public nuisance, is it that? I don't know. But I seriously want some guy with a flashlight to walk in and kick us out for being assholes and a disturbance to the rest of the god damn world. When Cato and Gale start laughing at a now red as fuck Peeta, I sink in my seat hoping that whatever they said doesn't have _anything _to do with me.

_But of course, it would. _

"Hey, Katniss, what does it take for you to have an orgasm? Peeta wants to know," Cato says, as everyone laughs their hardest I sink deeper into my chair, sending my right shoe at Cato's face like a magical unicorn. It's completely embarrassing and rude. How could he? The anger boiling in me can shoot bullets at Cato. What kind of shithole asks that? Not only does it make me turn a shade of red I've never been in, but it sends the worst kind of feeling I could be feeling right now in between my legs.

_Oh how I HATE your guts, Cato. I'm going to murder you and then send you down Gale's throat guts and all. _

Ready to remove my other shoe and stick it up Cato's ass, Gale starts laughing at him and warning him about my archery skills. But Cato just blows it off like a paper in wind.

"Yeah right, I'm stronger and faster, she can't get me," he brags, putting his arm around Margaret. She sends my right shoe that was on the floor to his face, hopefully hard enough to cause a concussion.

Peeta and I look at each other, and he doesn't look too happy. Yeah, I don't either but he looks a lot more dangerous and angry than before…like he would have the guts to kill someone right now. I don't know, but something about it is really…_sexy. _I hope he does punch one of them in the face. It'd be one of the meanest things I could see Peeta do, but seriously, I wouldn't give two shits on a shingle right now.

"You'll go down like the cunt you are," I retort, earning some whooping from the cast of _Soon-to-Kill List_, which I just made up right now but I'll make a mental note to use that joke again! I think I even see Peeta smirk a little.

_Thanks, conscious. You finally gave me something reasonable to work with. _

I'm actually starting to like this date, even if it is with the cast of…_Soon-to-Kill List. _I just love that. Now I sound like Effie. Ah, who cares? I'm pretty sure no one's going to hear my thoughts…unless…there's this really powerful person stalking me and reading my thoughts in order to steal my mental power of amazing joke-telling.

_I'm sorry if you don't even understand what I'm saying, I feel as if I'm just too stupid for some things. _

Phtt, that'd never happen. I'm not good at telling jokes. Maybe my life seems pretty funny, but to me this is hell. And now that the movie's over and I didn't even see any of it really pisses me off. I kind of think Peeta's going to do one of those I apologize awkward moments. Not that I don't think it's nice and sweet of him, but I'm just not the kind of girl who'd say, "Oh, that's okay," in that sweet, sympathetic voice. Maybe I'd act all awkward and silent, staring at his beautiful eyes like some freak. Or maybe, I'd say something a little too stupid. But love crap isn't the shit for me. And if I was meaner than I usually am, I'd say something like, "I don't give a fuck."

_That would send me in a traumatic phase…_

We're walking out and that's when I realize what Madge's wearing. I move closer to her as we walk out of the small cinema, the evening air hitting my skin magically.

_What now? I sound like some romantic story teller. Oh, no, I'm turning into EFFIE! _

The logical explanation might be that she just might get to everyone like she does to me. And then there's the other possibility…Effie is just fucking plain annoying and a pain in the ass. Probably it's because I let people manipulate me easily, which isn't good in my case. So fuck it. Who cares if I'm turning into Effie? If people don't like it…they can just kiss my ass. This is like the evolution of my pet turtle's, Joe, shell. Once, Rory bedazzled it and made it look like what Effie's brain must look like. Pink, sparkly, and like a rainbow raped it.

_Oh, Joe, I'm very sorry for your shell. But would you mind leaving my FUCKING THOUGHTS NOW BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING TIME TO THINK ABOUT SHIT…PURE SHIT!_

_Wow, I think I just went on full rage mode on myself…_

_What a good way to get mind fucked…(Sarcasm by the way)_

"Madge, what are you wearing?" I whisper to her, my eyes travelling down her body that is not as nearly covered in clothing than skin. She's wearing what a tramp would. I mean a tight shirt that goes just above the belly button and shorts that are more like underwear? Wait, that's _American Eagle _shorts! How did she get those? She HATES that store. We prefer _Hollister._

_Wait, why am I making such a big deal about this? Doesn't that mean she's regaining self-confidence? _

_Or, or, or…_

_Stop sounding like a fucking retarded seal!_

_Or she might be trying to impress Gale again, and you wouldn't want that. _

She shrugs and points to Margaret, "She thought I'd look cool in it, plus she said I'd feel much more 'confident' in it. I don't know where that bowl of shit came from, but I'm telling you from now Katniss, I'm not insecure."

I raise an eyebrow and shoot a look at Margaret. Not a mean look, so don't get all mad that I'm becoming rude to Margaret. _Damn, saying Margaret, Margaret is getting annoying. I need a shorter nickname for her. _

"Hey, do you have a nickname I can call you by, saying Margaret all the time gets a bit annoying since you have to have that…I don't know, Latin tongue in order to pronounce it the right way…stretching out the R," I explain, and she just looks at me with a '_I'M CAUGHT IN FUCKING HEADLIGHTS LIKE A DEAR' _look.

Finally, she says, "Maggie. My dad calls me that. I guess everyone thinks saying my name a lot is a bit hard…and annoying."

She's now walking beside us as the guys walk with Rue near the front. Rue is in the process of beating the shit out of Marvel thanks to his impulsiveness to grab a woman's ass every now and then.

"Hey, Katniss, you like my brother?" Maggie asks, giving me a look like if I lied, she'd find out and then kill me. I'm not afraid of her, but I've seen what she can do to a punching bag because she boxes. Fuck yes, I'm scared of her.

I slightly nod. "Yeah, why?"

Madge gasps. "This is the first time you openly admitted that to anybody else but me! Holy Jesus of the holy mother of God! This is better than that time I bought a mega poster of _One Direction _shirtless!"

I roll my eyes as Maggie says, "Fine by me. As long as you guys don't screw each other at my house. Yeah, sure, why not?"

_Why the fuck does everyone imply having a relationship with someone else more than just friends as a ready-to-screw-you alert?_

I glare at her with embarrassment and she and Madge chuckle. The boys start laughing and Gale glances at Madge, who backs up a bit. I roll my eyes. "See Madge, you are insecure."

"Why would you think that?" She yells, acting like a five year-old as we make it to a car where all the guys are around.

"Because you listen to _What Makes You Beautiful _and the first line is '_You're insecure',_" I say, obviously shutting her up. She rolls her eyes and pinches me in the arm, which I completely ignore.

"Shut up, Mrs. Logic, there's always a logical explanation why that's the first line. It doesn't prove I'm insecure," she snaps.

"Then why do you listen to _Who Says _by _Selena Gomez_?" I ask, trying to hold in the laughter because I know I'm pissing her off.

She slaps my arm hard and I flinch, my hand impulsively going to my sore arm. "SHUT UP."

Maggie high fives me as we regroup with the boys and Rue. Peeta is talking to Gale in a whisper that doesn't seem very happy. Then, suddenly, Rue announces, "Why don't go for a midnight swim at Lake Andrews?"

Everyone shrugs and I just go along with them. There's no point in arguing because I know that Madge and everyone else is going to force me into going. We hop into the largest car, which is Cato's. We agreed to come back to the theater's parking lot to retrieve our cars. The dumb ass of Gale says we should go on his car only. We squish in the back while Cato, Peeta, and Gale sit around the front. We girls have to squish ourselves in the back. Hell better be far, but I'm pretty sure I'm already in it.

The drive's pretty quick. Wind blows my hair backwards, making it smack me in the face. _Thanks, wind. _Eventually the hair goes in my mouth, and I have that small spasm attack where you try to get the hair out of your mouth before anyone sees. But, Peeta takes THIS MOMENT to turn around and smile at me. Just when I think it can't get any worse... life throws another shitty event in my story. I start choking on my own spit, and Peeta has to literally ask me if I'm okay. I nod and curse under my breath. _LIFE, WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME!?_

To my hell, _A Thousand Miles _starts playing. Like…isn't this song as old as my grandmother? My life is hell…What do I find so enjoyable? This night is shit all thanks to Madge. It's no surprise to me. She had to be the one person to embarrass me at everyone moment she can. I mean, that's what she does all the time. And what makes this even shittier is the fact that she does it gladly. But that is what best friends are for, right? When I fail a test, it isn't a problem when Madge fails, too. When the radio keeps playing the same old fucking song that tends to ruin everything, then yeah…yeah it is a fucking problem!

_Dear, radio_

_There are more songs than just the same fucking old three songs you keep replaying. I hope you know you're making my life a living hell. _

_Sincerely, annoyed listener_

To my inner demon, Gale and Cato start singing like the inner girl inside of them just escaped out like a goose or a stripper ready to 'let loose'. I groan and flick them off. Rue shouts, "SHUT UP, LADIES!"

Okay, I'm definitely deft now. This whole situation leaves me thinking about the mere possibility of our generation being on crack due to the fact that people still sell _Red Bull. _I mean, the crap does give you _"wings". _So, how does our older generation expect us to do well if there's stuff like that pulling us teenagers in…?

Like I said before, stupidity runs in the family. Therefore, I have the tendency to repeat things and say things a dim-wit would say. For example, I could be talking about chicken wings one minute, and the next I'd be telling you the difference between total alien invasion and a zombie apocalypse.

_Well then…I'll be forever alone…like a troll. Who the fuck wants to die alone? Apparently I do. _

Parking the car, Gale literally jumps out. I think he became Cat Woman at the time. Such. An. Ass. On the other hand, Peeta and Cato fly out the car. Am I the only one seeing things in slow motion? The air they get when they hop off the car is like…so surreal and…M-Y-S-T-I-C-A-L MYSTICAL! Unbelievable things aren't compared to the fact that Rue screams, "BITCHES CAN'T HANDLE ME," in my ear and scrambles out of the car with great trouble, eventually falling on her ass on the grass. I take the moment to realize where we are. The grass is pretty green and lush. The moon's light streams right in through the tress and sparkles the water. Breathing in the smell of nature, which is dog shit and skunk fart, I get out of the car. The lake is wide and dark. No one takes the moment to point it out, so I'm glad because I'm sure as hell won't be known for the girl who pointed that out.

"It smells like shit!" Madge screams, waving her hand in front of her nose to indicate the stench.

_But of course Madge wouldn't give a shit if she was…_

Everyone laughs and I mentally kick myself. Why couldn't I say that? Yeah, and I'm the one who calls Madge insecure. I guess I'm wrong. Peeta walks towards me and says, "I'm"-

_HOLY SHIT. _"No, no!" He looks at me like I'm overreacting, which I am. I shake my head and say, "Listen, I don't want you to say sorry for our friends' stupidity. I'm not very good at explaining myself and it's not even your fault…I mean I don't understand why the guy apologizes. I guess it's what we see in the movies…and really I think it IS bullshit because you know…it's…it's not even YOUR fault! This is completely stupid. I'm having a great time, I mean, yeah I had an AWESOME time with you, but this is great, too. I don't mind the assholes our friends are." I sigh in relief and look at him in the eyes.

He laughs and replies, "You just gave a speech on how you don't care about the fact that our 'stupid' friends have showed up unexpectedly. Yeah, I think you can explain yourself very well…not in a few words, though."

I shrug and start mentally insulting myself because what he said sounded to freaking intelligent and it took me twenty years to say what he paraphrased. "I guess can put it that way."

He smirks, his blue eyes sparkling. "Fine, I won't say I'm sorry," he says, laughing.

I roll my eyes, laughing a bit myself. I punch him in the arm, purposely hard. He doesn't even flinch. "Okay, I know for a fact that hurt you," I say, not being able to believe that my hardest punch didn't do shit to him.

He shakes his head and leans against the car. I follow him and lean against the car next to him as our friends jump into the water in their undergarments. I roll my eyes and Peeta grins, "No, it didn't. I'm captain of the wrestling team, if you know what that is," he teases.

I playfully glare at him. "Are you saying that I don't know what that is?! I know exactly what it is. And for your information, I was a hunter. I know my way around the big woods by heart. As for you, you couldn't hunt for your life," I retort.

He raises an eyebrow. "You were a hunter?" I nod and he smiles. "Nice, let me guess, you used a bow and a couple of arrows?"

I smile, "Yeah. I always thought it was weird they'd leave a cluster of arrows on the gym floor. And suspiciously they'd be right next to me when I need them."

He laughs, "Yeah! I've thought about that, too. I mean, is it Survival 101 or something?"

Gasping like a fish out of water, I exclaim, "Oh my god! I thought the exact same thing! Coach Haymitch leaves everything everywhere. I always thought he only leaves them there so I'd get curious and practice with them. I never do though…"

He shrugs, "A little practice wouldn't hurt. My parents want me to try out for all these sports and become some famous athlete like my older brother, Ryan. But, sports weren't always my favorite," he explains, getting me even more curious.

"You seem to like sports to me. Don't tell me you have like this major secret and you want to become like…this porn star and your parents don't know about it because you're afraid to tell them because you think they'll disagree and yell at you!" I tease him, he starts laughing so hard, and it makes me blush. I've just realized, that when I don't try to impress him and be myself, he actually laughs. FUCK YA'LL BITCHES! Ha! I got this…

"Really, Katniss, a porn star?" He asks, laughing, and crossing his strong arms over his buff chest.

"I could have said something worst," I say, shrugging. He just laughs and I smile to myself. _Score one for Katniss Everdeen! _

Maggie, from the lake in her undergarments, screams, "COME AND GET ME BITCHES. OR ARE YOU TOO SCARED?"

Peeta scowls and shouts, "If you don't leave us alone, I'll tell everyone what happened on Thanksgiving day dinner!"

Maggie yells, "Oh shit! I'm out," and dives into the water.

"What did she do?" I ask, seriously curious about what she did.

He shrugs, "You don't want to know…"

I give up on it. Whatever she did, I bet it was inappropriate. I smile as Peeta gets picked up by Gale and thrown into the water. In the shallow water, the start wrestling as Rue yells at them. "YEAH BITCHES! IMMA FUCK ALL YA'LL!" She joins their wrestling match by throwing herself sideways with her elbow out ready to elbow them in the stomach.

I laugh and shake my head. Later in the night, I end up in the water with half my clothes off. I'm more focused in killing Madge than what I'm wearing. She laughs and points to Peeta, who is just staring at me. I growl at Madge and ignore the fact that Peeta's staring. Madge screams and swims to the deeper end of the water as I follow her.

This was an interesting night…


End file.
